School Jokes Humor and Satire
You Know You've Finished College When 
Sunday, April 6, 2008, 02:22 AM - University - College
Posted by Administrator
1. Your salary is less than you used to pay for tuition.

2. Your potted plants stay alive.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. You have to pay your own credit card bill.

5. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.

6. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.

7. 8:00a.m. is not early.

8. You have to file for your own taxes.

9. Torn jeans and shorts aren't staples in your wardrobe.

10. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

11. You refer to college students as kids.

12. Your parents start making casual remarks about grandchildren.
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Math Problem Solving 
Friday, March 21, 2008, 09:54 PM - Middle School
Posted by Administrator
Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk:

10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound
4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound
2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound
2 bars soap at $.83 each

"How much does that come to?" asked Larry.

"Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents."

"If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?" said the boy.

"Seven dollars and sixty-four cents," stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.

Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, "I don't want to buy the items...that's our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it."
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History Questions 
Friday, March 14, 2008, 07:56 AM - Elementary School
Posted by Administrator
It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me death?"

She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.

"Now," said the teacher, "Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"

Again, no response except from Toshiba: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do."

As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: "Lousy Japanese."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said.
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Take What You Want 
Friday, March 14, 2008, 03:27 AM - University - College
Posted by Administrator
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.

The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice bike?"

The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking along minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want!'"

The second nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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Internet Reseach 
Friday, March 7, 2008, 04:18 AM - University - College
Posted by Administrator
Friend: "How's your history paper coming?"

Student: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the internet for research, and it's been very helpful.

Friend: "Really?"

Student: "Yes! I've already located 17 people who sell history papers!"
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Anything To Pass 
Tuesday, March 4, 2008, 04:16 AM - University - College
Posted by Administrator
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. "Anything??"

"Absolutely anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
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