School Jokes Humor and Satire
You Know You've Finished College When 
Sunday, April 6, 2008, 02:22 AM - University - College
Posted by Administrator
1. Your salary is less than you used to pay for tuition.

2. Your potted plants stay alive.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. You have to pay your own credit card bill.

5. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.

6. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.

7. 8:00a.m. is not early.

8. You have to file for your own taxes.

9. Torn jeans and shorts aren't staples in your wardrobe.

10. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

11. You refer to college students as kids.

12. Your parents start making casual remarks about grandchildren.
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Take What You Want 
Friday, March 14, 2008, 03:27 AM - University - College
Posted by Administrator
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.

The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice bike?"

The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking along minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want!'"

The second nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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Internet Reseach 
Friday, March 7, 2008, 04:18 AM - University - College
Posted by Administrator
Friend: "How's your history paper coming?"

Student: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the internet for research, and it's been very helpful.

Friend: "Really?"

Student: "Yes! I've already located 17 people who sell history papers!"
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Anything To Pass 
Tuesday, March 4, 2008, 04:16 AM - University - College
Posted by Administrator
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"


His voice softens. "Anything??"

"Absolutely anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would"
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You might be a college student if #3 
Friday, February 29, 2008, 03:36 AM - University - College
Posted by Administrator
1. If you carry less than a dollar on you at all times because that's all you have

2. If you haven't done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to class

3. If your midnight snack is microwave popcorn

4. If you celebrate when you find a quarter

5. If your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over

6. If your walls are plastered with posters of half naked men or women (whichever your preference)

7. If you have built up a tolerence for beverages (he he he)

8. If you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itself

9. If you get more sleep in class than in your room

10. If your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen Noodles

11. If you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homes.
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You might be a college student if #2 
Thursday, February 28, 2008, 05:56 AM - University - College
Posted by Administrator
1. If you average less than 3 hours of sleep a night.

2. If your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn't

3. If you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week

4. If you eat at the cafeteria because it's "free", even though it tastes terrible.

5. If you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy

6. If you wake up 10 minutes before class

7. If you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row -- without washing them

8. If your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to class

9. If your social life consists of a date with the library

10. If your idea of "doing your hair" is putting on a baseball cap

11. If it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room
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